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Dear Economy

Your life depends on the consumers’ shopping habits. I am a consumer; an undecided, maximalist, opinionated one but most importantly one who never overspends and is not broke, a rarity these days. Your life is dependent on my shopping habits. I’d like to shop more, really I would. Right now, at this very moment, there is a mountain of clothing on my bedroom floor that I intend on sending to the Goodwill. I need new clothes. I’m sick of looking at the things I own. I’d like a new wardrobe to go with the new closet I’m in the process of purchasing. But there’s a problem.

I fully intend to pump money into the economy, but I’ve spend hours, days, weeks looking for something to buy without being able to do it. I don’t buy anything unless I love it, and, let me tell you, there’s very little out there right now that I like, let alone love. Things are drab, boring, inflexible, and cheaply made. Other than H&M’s t-shirts, Stila’s eyeshadows, and the Gap’s canvas bags, there is very little out there I want. Signs everywhere are screaming about all the great sales, but when I go in, the wares are dull and do not come in normal sizes. I understand that I wear a common size, but since it’s a common size, shouldn’t more middle sizes be bought and stocked? I’m tired of looking at 0′s and 14′s. I hate finding a pair of pants that I think will fit, but then they are “ankle” or “tall” length. Stock less of that please. Petites and basketball players should by definition have a harder time finding sizes. That’s what online’s for. Why do the averages have to go online more and more and more? I buy very little in person these days.

And one more note, not all of use want to wear pants that threaten to fall off every time we sit down. This ultralow rise craze has lived its life and now it should just die… or not be manufactured in anything over a 4. I don’t want mom pants or elastic waistbands, but I’d like to be able to sit without my pants falling off. And I won’t buy any that will.

I’m ready to buy, there’s just nothing worth my closet space. Merchants, this should make you afraid. Fix it or die.

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