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The Thaw

I went to bed last night with the sidewalks still covered with ice and the rain gutters packed with slush while a brutal wind froze everything in its path. This morning, the ice was gone, the air smelled like rain and sunlight flooded my apartment. It’s beginning to thaw. Surely, it’s still early in the season and there could be a snow storm neck week, but today, it felt like spring. 

I continue on my brutal work path that gives me little rest and no time. I have to work next Saturday and I’m still worried sick about money. But… it’s beginning to thaw and I walked back from the gym today without my hands hurting from the cold. I never thought I’d say it, but I’m glad, glad, glad winter’s grip is starting to shake off and I’ve hated this winter more than any other. I’d never move to a seasonless place like Florida or Arizona but this year, on top of everything that’s gone on, this winter has overstayed its welcome and I am so happy to see it go.

Maybe there will be pictures and posts and life around here some day. Right now, I realise I’ve fallen into a black hole of neverending work and fatigue that will not shake off no matter what I try to do. Some people seek out others when they’re stressed or tired. I tend to fade off. I’m just so exhausted, that even speaking to someone about it drains me. I have no patience and no energy.

It’ll be better come the end of March when I’ve done the hardest bit of the online law class. In retrospect it was foolish of me to think I could handle that on top of everything else that I’ve had going on and I’m stupid to allow myself to be talked into it. But there’s no help for that now and I have to push on until I’m done. It can’t come soon enough.

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