Swatches
There are about a dozen paint swatches sitting on my counter. I wonder how many colors I can get away with in an apartment smaller than 700sf. I’m reading all the Ikea catalogs and Ralph Lauren paint colors and Behr paint tips and checking Room and Board in the hopes that suddenly they’ll have a 70% off sale. When I bought furniture for my old apartment, it took me years to decide on everything. I don’t know why I feel the need to get this done all at once. I’m having a hard time getting rid of the idea and maximalizing every thought I have. It’s totally crazy and I recognize that in my lucid moments. I need to ride out the winter and save money.
Why do I behave in these ways? Can’t I just be happy where I am for a few months? Can’t I just wait instead of buying things I don’t love just to fill in a gap? I’m horribly unorganized and spastic. At first I thought it was the whole horrible home-buying experience and maybe it is. With the holidays and all I really haven’t had an opportunity to just be off and CHILL out for a bit. But, really, it goes back farther than that. I have to admit I haven’t been right ever since he left.
Posted on December 31st, 2008 under Life • 
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