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October Surprise

It’s supposed to work in this way: You have a goal. You work to get that goal. You save your money and never spend a dime more than you can afford. You do all the research. You do more than friends and well-wishers suggest you do. With this much time and energy involved, you shouldn’t just meet the goal, you should overachieve it. You should leave it in the dust.

I did it. I did everything I was supposed to do from saving a bit from my first paycheck and paying my first credit card bill on time to wiring money for the sale to the settling agent’s account as I was instructed. I did everything right and I deserve to have it done by now. By God, I DESERVE it. But no. Seller either lied or is incompetent or his agent lied or is incompetent and the deal fell through just as I was nearly done signing all the mortgage documents. Just like that. In *seconds*. His bank won’t allow him to free up just one unit at his overly-inflated appraisal for the lot of the units. The bank suspects a short sale, suspects he and his partner have hidden assets, and instead of foreclosing, is squeezing them to cough up the rest of the cash. That leaves me, an innocent bystander, between a rock and a hard place.

I’ve given notice at my apartment and buying more time will cost me money I didn’t budget for and shouldn’t have to spend, not to mention it’s an open-ended option since I don’t know how long it will take him to figure out his financial problems. My rate lock expires next week and the bank (his damn bank) says it needs a month to reassess all his properties. Rock, meet hard place. The so-called month would be the day after Thanksgiving. Rock, how are you liking hard place? None of this came up in the title search because he’s not defaulted yet and his bank suspects, possibly rightly, that he has other assets. I wish I could just drop it and walk away and resign myself to another year under this apartment’s lease. Unfortunately, I have come to hate this apartment and the anticipation of something better has really made it difficult to live in these past few months. The condo continues to look fantastic on paper. The property is great, the seller sucks. 14 of the 22 units are owner-occupied. That’s good. The street and neighborhood are ideal. Taxes and condo fees are low. The gym three blocks away has classes at good times of the day unlike the noon time slots of the gym I go to now. It’s on the subway. There are few places in town that are better for me to live in. This seller has no control of the condo board whatsoever. Once the unit is sold, I’ll be rid of him.

Now, I have to drink. I just ate a whole block of cheese. I’m attempting to not fling myself out of the window. The chilling rain fits my current mood very nicely.

Right now, it doesn’t behoove me to piss anyone off, but when this is over, some people are going to be reported and I’m naming names.

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