Reactionary

I miss my old computer. I miss how rock-solid it was, steady, dependable. Ever since it’s hard disc started going bad and I needed to wean myself off of it, I’ve just never found my pattern again. Laptops aren’t the same and the new desktop is clearly suffering from 1st rev problems. I wish I had waited. There’s nothing like buyer’s remorse.

One thing I haven’t regretted, though is the $155 I paid for the financial planning class I’ve been taking at one of the city’s many universities. I was just reviewing my notes for the test this coming week and realized I underpaid for this class. Consider the wool removed from before my eyes. Just knowing the mathematical formula used to calculate life insurance and its purpose paid for the cost of admission. It was patently obvious today that I’ve learned something since, being on call and unable to do anything I can’t drop, I made today Tax Day. I have never filled out both tax forms so quickly and assuredly. I just got an e-mail that the feds have accepted my return. Why did I get it done so quickly? I understood the whole damn thing. I used to have to read and reread everything so I would be sure I wasn’t making mistakes. No more.

I know the effect of a Roth. I’ve increased my 403(b) contributions, changed allocations, figured out how much to put in the 403(b) and how much goes into the Roth. I’m considering a mortgage (though having a convenient $20,000 from a blood relative would do me nicely thanks to obscene closing costs and my refusal to live in the suburbs). My next goal is to contact the investment firm of choice and open the Roth. The money’s doing nothing sitting in the b-a-n-k.

I’m sitting home while other people my age are out and about. I can’t leave since I’ve been up since 6AM and have to repeat the whole thing tomorrow. After Thursday’s news bomb, I really can’t cope with life. Just when I think I’m out, it keeps pulling me back in. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe what I was told in the locker room to begin the day. My knees went all wobbly. I can’t believe lunch. I can’t share all details. It’s almost like if I allow myself to consider it, it’ll disappear and go away like it had never been.

Posted on March 15th, 2008 under Life •  Print •  Email • RSS 2.0 feed • Leave a response, or trackback