Reactionary

What a miserable season. Not only does the weather cause enough pain and suffering for a hundred lifetimes, the non-stop work adds enough for a hundred more. I used to have other pursuits, I used to have other interests. I used to qualify for the description of “well read”. That’s eroded as surely as the humidity eats away at a newly-washed shirt’s crispness. Not only did I work another 5 grueling days last week with break shifts tossed in, but I was on call this entire weekend. I’m only writing this now because the weight of being the call person is about to be lifted as the clock struggles down to 1900. And tomorrow, I have to work again. I got called in yesterday, Saturday and today I still got up at 0530 just so I’d be ready in case they called. No one did but that didn’t make it easier. A building-wide fire alarm roused me off of those pins and needles. For the record, I hate loud, constant, ear-shattering sounds. I made a list once of my favorite sounds. I wonder what I did with it. It’s probably molding someplace with the rest of the things I used to know. I’m not long for this job. It’s taking everything.

I’m uploading pictures to U2Lit’s picturebook section right now. That’s the most work I’ve done without punching a clock in ages. I just don’t have the energy and scarcely the will anymore.

I was trying to make train RSVP’s on TrenItalia’s website today. I wish I could go forever, not like Italy is The Answer but it represents everything I love and is against everything I don’t. I don’t like belonging to my job. Two years on, I still feel as tired as I did when I first started working there. Something needs to change. For now, two pitifully short weeks on Italy’s Amalfi Coast will have to do and hopefully there, on the hillsides, I’ll find that other side of me again.

August 6th, 2006 | Category: Life |  Print |  Send it | Subscribe to comments | Leave a comment | Trackback URL