Reactionary

Now I know. It’s good to know I work in a Victorian environment. It had never hit me as it did this past week. After all the rigmarole to use stupid PC language and a bunch of rhetoric on how to treat other people, it’s good to know nothing’s changed. Things are worse when they pretend they’re different and they’re not. Things are worse when they’re subtle rather than out in the open.

It’s a boy’s club in the OR and now it’s as plain as writing on the wall. No matter how much paint is used to cover it up, the truth always bleeds through. “The accent is different but the script is always the same to me.” The answers from management and other people are always the same. They repeat them in hopes you’ll be beaten down and eventually stop mentioning it. You’ll be a good girl and shut up and take it and take it and take it. “You have to understand…” I do understand and I’m tired of being the one doing all the understanding all the time. Why do I have to be amazing, have all the answers, understand and everyone can continue bull-headed and sexist and cruel? If I do well, I get patted on the head, or nothing’s said because it’s expected. I do something wrong, or something happens I had nothing to do with, it’s suddenly July 4th.

I’m not one to play the -ism card. I don’t believe in it. You can’t use things like that to cover your own inadequacies and shortcomings. Affirmative action and the push for diversity in the workplace is BS. I use “he” for the general pronoun. Words are just words. The actual way someone is treated speaks loud and clear, infinitely moreso than “he/she” crap.

A resident makes a mistake and it’s alright. It’s a joke. I hand a wrong instrument or take a little longer doing it and I get a lecture or worse, just a cold shoulder. I’m tired of being treated intermittently as a bug under a microscope or invisible. People pretend and pretend and it just makes it worse.

Someone finally dares to say something and they tell you to understand or hit you with the blackmail of “patient care”. That, they hold over your head as the ace card. Well, guess what. I’ve long known there are other, more important things in life than keeping people alive. If there’s nothing between your ears, what good is it your neurons are communicating. Cicero’s list of important careers is going to have to be my vaildation that I’m not the only one who thinks so. Others may, but of course they won’t say so, another product of this screaming silence and denial.

So if your local hospital has delays, mistakes, etc, don’t even think about complaining. They’ve got more than any human being can be expected to deal with and they’re doing the best they can and they can’t be expected to be blackmailed with that well-used trump card.

Posted on November 20th, 2004 under Life, Rant •  Print •  Email • RSS 2.0 feed • Both comments and pings are currently closed